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c Anita Harris (for reprint permission, please
email. Do you ever wish you could fire your boss? If you do, you are not alone. All of these stories appear on the Web site of Business Research Lab, ( Some bad bosses are criminal: they may steal, discriminate or harass.
Others are reprehensible: they yell, swear, bully, humiliate, lie, cheat,
intimidate or take credit for other peoples’ work. Still others are
pathetic--incompetent, spineless, fearful or needy. Well-meaning bosses can
be problematic—especially if they are poor communicators or micromanagers,
or work so hard at their own jobs that they are impossible to reach,
according to Traci Vujicich < If your boss is driving you crazy, Hakim says, you should analyze your
situation. You then have three main choices: you can try to change the
situation; you can live with it; or you can leave. (1) Define the problem The first step in dealing with a difficult boss is to figure out what is
going on. "Take a deep breath and ask yourself what is not working for you,
" Hakim says. Is your boss asking you to do to much work in the allotted
time? Not giving you enough information about what needs to be done?
Berating you or being overly critical? Next, talk to trusted colleagues to determine whether the boss is this
way with everyone or if you are being singled out. You should also take stock of your own role, says Phyllis Stein, a career
counselor in Cambridge, MA. "If this is your seventh bad boss in a row," she
suggests, ask yourself if you are choosing jobs badly, overreacting, taking
things too personally, or doing something that provokes all of your bosses
to respond in a negative way. (2) Try to change the situation Once you’ve clarified the particulars, ascertain that if there is
anything you can do to change them. If the boss is doing something illegal—such as sexual harassment—you
might want to consult a lawyer to determine if there are formal steps you
should take. If your boss’s actions are reprehensible, unprofessional or
against company guidelines, it might help to contact your union or human
resources department. In one university news office, a group of colleagues
went over the head of their verbally abusive editor to persuade her
superiors to ease her out of her post. If your boss is kindly but clueless,
a simple discussion might help. Stein described a micromanager whose staff
got together and explained that while they admired her quest for excellence,
they could do a better job if she left them more to their own devices. The
micromanager understood their point, and changed her irritating ways. It can take courage to stand up for yourself, Hakim says, because, in a
hierarchical situation, you are vulnerable, and your boss has the power to
fire you. But if your self-esteem or dignity is being challenged, it is
important to find a way to say, "I will not tolerate your behavior." Hakim recommends calling or e-mailing a difficult boss to schedule a
ten-minute meeting, in which you outline the problem and come up with a
behavioral suggestion to ease the tension. For example, "You could say, ‘I’m
feeling that I can’t get my work done when I am being chastised; it would be
helpful to set up a timeline so that I know which are the most crucial tasks
to complete each week.’" Unfortunately, most bosses are not likely to change, Vujicich says. "
Habits are ingrained; this is who they are." If managers are liked by the
organization, or if they are having a positive effect on the bottom line,
there may be no institutional incentive or pressure for them to change, she
adds. (3) Decide whether to remain on the job, for how long, and how best to
cope. If change is unlikely, decide whether it is worth it to you stay in your
job, and if it is, for how long. Vujicich described a graduate student who interned for a college
professor who became verbally abusive when he couldn’t find a paper that was
sitting on his own desk, in plain sight. The intern decided to "grit her
teeth and bear it," because the professor behaved that way with everyone;
the intern needed the professor’s recommendation; the job had a natural end
point, and it was an important step in her career ladder. Similarly, Stein had a client in her fifties who "cowered" when her boss
in a nonprofit agency screamed and yelled. A victim of childhood abuse,
Stein’s client decided that leaving the situation would not help her cope
with managerial bullying in future jobs. Stein’s client went into therapy to
deal with her old issues, and, with Stein, developed techniques that helped
her react less personally to her boss’ behavior. Still, it is not healthy to allow yourself to be a victim for an extended
period of time, Hakim says. If you choose to remain in a difficult
situation, Vujicich and Stein agree, you need external support such as a
counselor, family or friends, and you should fill your life outside of work
with activities you enjoy, to diffuse the stress. (4) Leave on your own terms Sometimes, Vejicich says, the job has no long-term prospects and the
situation is, simply, "doomed." In Hakim’s view, "If you feel your spirit is
compromised to the point where you can’t be who you really are, if you can’t
use your talents and energy, or if someone’s personality and demands are
encroaching on you as a person," it is clearly time to leave. If this is the
case, avoid walking out "angry, in a ‘blinded’ way, " he says. Recognize
that the situation "is not about you: it is about someone else, who cannot
change." Plan for your departure, and try to leave when your work is going
well rather than when it is "in the tank. " Not only is it helpful to have a
positive story to tell future employers, but, Hakim says, it is important to
leave with "honor" for the work you have done. ### |
